4 steps to personalising your wedding vows

When it comes to the words you say on your big day, the more personal the better!

Gone are the days when couples had no control over their vows or the style of their ceremony. No one wants to sit through an hour-long sermon, or turn up to watch another celebrant read the same lines and poems they’ve delivered a hundred times before.

Quite contrary, the trend today is to create very personal vows. Modern brides are looking for ideas, inspiration and those unique, modern twists on the traditional wedding.

Below, I reveal my four top tips to help you create wedding vows that are truly heartfelt and unique.

Make a start


A great way to get started is to keep it very simple. Try writing down some notes about yourself, your partner, your relationship and what is important to you both. What do you love about each other? Reminisce about how you met, what you have in common and what stories you have about your relationship that make you laugh or feel really emotional.

It might also be a good idea to start collecting favourite quotes from movies, songs, or books you love. They can provide great content for a really modern ceremony script.

Think about:

  • When and how did you first meet your partner and when did you realise you were in love?

  • What are the things you appreciate about them and what gets on your nerves?

  • What special quirks do you love about them?

  • What are the funniest, most romantic, outlandish and even embarrassing moments you’ve had together?

  • What have you learnt from each other?

  • What goals do you have as a couple and what values do you share?

  • What do you want to promise each other?

  • What does marriage mean to you moving forward?

This exercise will give you a lot of material, from which you can select bits and pieces to write your perfect vows.

Get inspired


If you fear the dreaded writer’s block, a little research will go a long way. Check out which types of ceremonies are available and what best represents your individual personalities and beliefs.

If creativity is still a little slow to strike, check out my online ceremony builder Love Skript. This application allows you to collaborate with your loved one and anyone else you want to include in the vow and ceremony writing process. It’s full of templates and creative ideas and allows for plenty of flexibility so you can add your own elements too.

Make it personal and avoid clichés

The objective is to create a ceremony that truly reflects who you are as a couple and what you love about each other as individuals. This is your opportunity to show the world why you are meant for each other.

Instead of using cliché phrases such as ‘Love is blind’ or ‘Happily ever after’, try and express this sentiment through a story. Explain why you love your partner, how they have impacted you personally and what you are like as a couple. Think about some promises you want to make in front of your witnesses and describe what you want for your future as newlyweds.

Talk to your celebrant

Your celebrant is not only there to get you hitched, but also to help create your dream day. Ask them for example scripts and any other inspiration and ideas they might have in their toolkit.

A really good celebrant will be interested in your ideas and keen to work with you to create the theme and mood you want – not only through the words that are shared, but also through the delivery of the ceremony on the big day.

Finally, remember this process should not only be fun, but also make you feel confident to approach your wedding day with a calm and relaxed mindset.

Get in touch if you want me to help create a ceremony that adds to your personal love story for years to come.

Jo xx

Jo Hurley